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Saturday, July 09, 2005

feeling drained

Lately I been feeling very tired even though I dont get much sleep and at the times I go to bed I should be well rested. Maybe its all that has happen to me. I try to not think about it but I can't help it. It is really hard to get my mind off it. I dont know what I am going to do. I talked Andrew but I haven't told him the whole thing. I am waiting for him to get back to tell him that. I dont want to do that over email. I mean with things are good for us. I enjoy the moments that we talk. He makes me smile and I dont do that often. Its hard that I want to tell him online but I will feel better telling him in person to actually see how he reacts in person.
Work is going well. I am hoping that I can save my money by the end of the year for my own place. Andrew offered to help me but I told him that I wanted to do it on my own and if I need his help Iwill let him know. Andrew and I are not a couple we are just friends well I dont know how to really explain it . He means alot to me more than Sam did. That is the first time I have said that. I am trying not to talk about Sam but I know that I am going to have to admit everything like feelings and dreams out in the open. I dont know if I am really ready for that yet. I feel that there is so much to say on that I dont know where to begin. I am sick of talking about Sam right now so I am going to stop and get my mind off it and focus on something else.
They started on salads this week at my job which is good we are getting alot of people at lunch which means I get really busy. Being busy slowly takes my mind off some of the things that have been going on. I still been having headaches and I honestly dont know what to do. I can openly talk to Andrew but I dont want to relay all my problems on him. I dont want to relay all my problem too much on any of my diaries.
I thought that the energy tablets would have work but they are not doing anything. Like right now I am tired but if I go to sleep I would not actually sleep until 1 or maybe 2 in the morning even though i have work in the morning. Well that is all. I am going to finish emailing Andrew.
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