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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

updating again

Andrew sent me more pictures of him. So far we are going to dinner or a movie when he comes back. He asking me what else are we going to do when he comes. I am so excited that he is coming here for two week. I know that those two weeks are going to change everything between us. That means I have to go shopping for something nice to look good in for him. I have one dress in my closet that I would like to wear. I am so happy. I can't wait. I love the pictures that he sent me. I kept them all. If you want to see them email me and I will email them to you. my email is
Work is going great. I have more hours which will be fine. I am getting in touch with friends and hoping to hang out with them. I have some emails to send . I will update more about my life soon.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

feeling drained

Lately I been feeling very tired even though I dont get much sleep and at the times I go to bed I should be well rested. Maybe its all that has happen to me. I try to not think about it but I can't help it. It is really hard to get my mind off it. I dont know what I am going to do. I talked Andrew but I haven't told him the whole thing. I am waiting for him to get back to tell him that. I dont want to do that over email. I mean with things are good for us. I enjoy the moments that we talk. He makes me smile and I dont do that often. Its hard that I want to tell him online but I will feel better telling him in person to actually see how he reacts in person.
Work is going well. I am hoping that I can save my money by the end of the year for my own place. Andrew offered to help me but I told him that I wanted to do it on my own and if I need his help Iwill let him know. Andrew and I are not a couple we are just friends well I dont know how to really explain it . He means alot to me more than Sam did. That is the first time I have said that. I am trying not to talk about Sam but I know that I am going to have to admit everything like feelings and dreams out in the open. I dont know if I am really ready for that yet. I feel that there is so much to say on that I dont know where to begin. I am sick of talking about Sam right now so I am going to stop and get my mind off it and focus on something else.
They started on salads this week at my job which is good we are getting alot of people at lunch which means I get really busy. Being busy slowly takes my mind off some of the things that have been going on. I still been having headaches and I honestly dont know what to do. I can openly talk to Andrew but I dont want to relay all my problems on him. I dont want to relay all my problem too much on any of my diaries.
I thought that the energy tablets would have work but they are not doing anything. Like right now I am tired but if I go to sleep I would not actually sleep until 1 or maybe 2 in the morning even though i have work in the morning. Well that is all. I am going to finish emailing Andrew.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Today I looked over my old journals that I have and notice how things are different now. I changed so much even though some of the things that I said I would not do I did anyway. Then I saw that entries about Sam which made me want to cry. I wish I would have not seen them. I read them and I even read the entries that I had about Andrew. Oh Andrew and I are planning some thing that we are going to do when he get back in town. I can't wait. He said we can do anything I want to do. No one has ever said that before. I am so happy that I can talk to him. I dont know if we are dating. That would be nice but I dont want it to end like it did with Sam and me. I dont think I can take that again. Well I dont have to work tomorrow so I am just going to try to relax and have some fun. I am okay with how things are but I hope that Andrew and I will get a better understanding with each other but I am dealing in time.